When Zim and Dib Play Yoostar
by ZimmyCakes
Summary: This is a sweet little one-shot story between our two favorite Invader Zim characters, Zim and Dib, as they get together to play a hilarious Kinect game called Yoostar 2. Warning: Contains ZADF, slight ZADR, language, encouragement of crack, inappropriate skin revealing… let's just say this is all content of PewDiePie and Smosh Games playing Yoostar.


**When Zim and Dib Play Yoostar**

Zim quickly ran to Dib's house as fast as he could. It was Saturday, and Dib had invited the alien over to play a new video game he had gotten. Zim wasn't exactly sure what it was, but the way Dib described it over the phone, it sounded like a whole lot of fun. Besides, they needed something new to put up on their YouTube channel.

Zim quickly stepped up to the front door and gave it a few quick knocks. Gaz was the one to open it.

One look at the person in front of her and Gaz gave a slight smile, knowing exactly what he was here for.

"Dib! Zim is here!" She called back into the house, letting the alien in. "He'll be down in a sec, Zim."

"Thanks Gaz." Zim nodded to her, taking off his disguise and setting it on the table next to the couch.

Now, you must be wondering "Why on EARTH would Zim take off his disguise?!". Well, the answer was simple. Ever since the whole incident about Dib giving up on his dreams to do real science like his father, sending both Zim and Dib into a deep depression, the two had become more like friends to each other. Zim no longer tried to destroy the human boy, and Dib no longer tried to expose the Irken alien. Sure, they would still have little spats here and there, especially when it came to stopping Zim's plans of domination, but nothing major. Zim was now more comfortable with having his disguise off around his new human friend.

Besides, there as another reason why Zim had taken his disguise off.

"Hey Zim!" Dib greeted his alien friend as he came sliding down the stair railing. "Glad you could make it."

"Glad to have made it Dib." Zim nodded to him. "You got the game?"

"Yeah, I got the game. Do you got the camera?"

"Never leave without it." Zim smiled, holding up his very own video camera. "You ready for another video of 'The Human and The Alien'?"

"As I ever will be." Dib chuckled. "Alright then, let's get this thing started."

Dib placed the game into the Xbox Kinect and Zim adjusted the camera. The two stepped back as everything started coming together.

"Ready?" Dib asked Zim.

Zim nodded and they both started counting backwards.

Three… two… one.

"Hey guys and welcome to another video of 'The Human and The Alien'." Dib greeted as the game went to the Main Menu and the camera started recording.

"Me being the Alien." Zim greeted.

"And me being the Human." Dib continued. "Today we'll be playing possibly the most greatest game ever made."

"You know it's good whenever they spell 'you' with two Os."

"'Yoostar 2'!" Dib did jazz hands.

"I've never heard of it." Zim shook his head, his antennas flinging from side to side.

"I've never heard of it either. I found it in the bargain bin at this like, Indie game shop." Dib laughed.

"Bargain bin?" Zim raised an eyebrow him. "You mean the trash bin?"

"Maybe, I might've been digging through their trash." Dib admitted, making the alien laugh.

"So, explain this game to our audience, Dib, as well as me."

"Well, with this game, you put yourself into movie scenes." Dib explained. "It's like you're replacing the actors with yourself."

"Well, seems simple enough." Zim shrugged. "It might be good, it might be not, but it's never too late to try new things."

"Well said, Zim. Well said." Dib nodded. "So without further delay. Let's get this shit started."

"Why do you always insist on cursing in our videos?" Zim frowned.

"Like you're one to talk, you do it too." Dib playfully punched him.

"Hmm, point taken." Zim nodded as he started scrolling through the options. "Do you wanna go first, or should I."

"I guess I'll go ahead be first."

"Alright then, switch." Zim jumped out of the way as Dib took his place. "Which movie you wanna do first?"

"Ah, let's see what we got here." Dib frowned as he searched through the movies. "Ooh, here's one. '300'."

"Yeah, '300'. Let's go with that one."

Dib clicked on the movie and searched through the scenes.

"Do you want the 'This is Sparta' scene?" Zim asked him.

"Hell yeah I want the 'This is Sparta' scene." Dib chuckled as he clicked on the scene. "I'm gonna be Leonidas."

"Ooh, good choice."

"I know."

So Dib chose the character he wanted to be and did the scene. When he was finished, they stepped back to watch it.

Dib: (Points up finger) "Yah! I've pointed my finger at you. Now prepare to die by my finger!"

Persian: "This is blasphemy. This is madness!"

Dib: "Madness? You. Are. A football!" (Kicks the air) "Hee-yah!"

Persian: (Screams)

Zim and Dib are both laughing as they watch the scene play out.

"You have a very sword like finger." Zim laughed.

"They didn't even show him falling, like, what's with that?" Dib added. "And I love how you're just sitting there in the corner."

"Oh yeah." Zim laughed. "Alright, my turn."

"Oh man, I got tagged out." Dib chuckled as he sat on the couch.

"You got boned, bi-atch!"

"See, told ya you do it too."

"Not as much as you."

"Alright, which one are you doing?"

"I think I'm gonna go with 'American Pie'." Zim answered as he clicked on it. "Now, I know you're thinking I'm gonna be the dude but I'm gonna be the mom."

"Oh hoo hoo." Dib teased. "Sexy, sexy, sexy."

"Shut up you perv!" Zim laughed.

So Zim did his scene and, just as before, they stood back to watch it.

Paul Finch: "I'm talking about alcohol, liquor, the good stuff."

Zim: "Yeah, yeah that's right. Um… I got some toilet water."

Paul Finch: "Single malt?"

Zim: "Uh, yeah sure if that's what you wanna call it. But, I like to call it toilet water. So anyway. You wanna see me strip? You know, do a little…" (Lifts up the front of his shirt to his chin while giving a shocked but flirty scream.)

Paul Finch: "I think I should."

Zim and Dib are rolling on the floor, gasping for breath as they laugh at that last comment.

"I was creative!" Zim laughed when they saw the results of the scene.

"Alright then." Dib sighed when he could finally control himself. "My turn. I already know what I'm doing."

"Which one?" Zim asked as he sat down on the couch.

"'Apollo 13'!" Dib answered as he clicked on it.

"Choose. Your. Shot!" Zim commanded dramatically.

"Thank you for that, Zim." Dib chuckled as he clicked on Tom Hanks.

Dib: "Hmm, I'm just gonna flip this switch right here, uh…" (Lights blare and sirens go off as the room starts shaking.) "Oh! Uh-oh! Uh, uh guys! The master alarm just went off! Uh, oh god, shits really fucked up guys. The CMC just lit up. What are these lights? I don't know. What's going on guys?! Oh, flip that switch!"

Zim and Dib are both chuckling at Dib's random monologue as the scene plays out in front of them.

"As you can see, I perform well underdressed." Dib chuckled.

"They should've just had you play Tom Hanks." Zim laughed.

"I should've been Tom Hanks." Dib agreed.

"I had no idea of what was going on that whole time." Zim chuckled as they switched places. "The only thing I got from that was CMC."

"You and me both bro. So, which one are you doing now?"

"I don't know. I don't even know what half of these movies are."

"Ooh! 'Casablanca'!"

"I've never seen 'Casablanca'."

"Me either."

Zim chuckled at his friend's statement before finally choosing "Coming To America".

" OK, I'm gonna be the woman again." Zim picked. "Oh boy, you're gonna love this one, Dib."

"What are you doing?" Dib asked the alien.

Zim said nothing as he rolled up his shirt, tucking the end into his neck hole. He got on the floor, waiting for the scene to start. When it finally did, it took every last bit of Dib's willpower to hold in his laughter.

Zim: (Pops up next to Randy Wastmon.) "Well hello there. Hope you don't mind me coming over."

Arsenio Hall: (Ignores Zim while drinking.)

Randy Wastmon: (Looking very disturbed.)

Zim: "Oh, well hello there. I've been watching from a distance. And I wanna tear your asshole apart." (Pretends to lick Randy's ear before pulling the rest of his shirt up to his chin.) "These are my alien man breasts."

Arsenio Hall: (Spits his drink to the side.)

When the scene finally ended, both Zim and Dib are trying to catch their breaths from laughing so hard.

"I can't believe you actually did that!" Dib laughed.

"I fucking nailed that bitch!" Zim snorted, trying to keep his balance.

"Oh God, Arsenio's reaction was priceless!"

"I wasn't even expecting that!"

"Neither was I! Pure. Fucking. Luck!"

"You said it, buddy." Zim chuckled as Dib took his place again. "Thank you for finding this game in the bargain bin."

"You're welcome Zim." Dib chuckled before clicking on "Forest Gump".

"Oh, yep, you Forest Gump." Zim snorted.

Dib: "I like shrimp! Give me some mother fuckin' shrimp!"

Lydon B. Johnson: "Hold on there, boy. Are you telling me you're the owner of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Corporation?"

Dib: "Yeah I like mother fuckin' shrimp! Give me some mother funkin' shrimp!"

Lydon B. Johnson: (Laughing) "Boy, I've heard some whoppers in my time but that tops them all." (Laughs as he stands up and leaves.)

Dib: "Why you fuckin' laughing at me you dumbass!"

Southern Elderly Lady: "That was a very lovely story. And you tell it so well."

Dib: (Holds his arms out.) "Heh-heh. Give me a hug girl. Gimme a hug girlfriend. You pertty. You're the perttiest girl I ever did see, grandma."

Southern Elderly Lady: "Yes, I would."

Dib: "I just… I don't know what to say, I'm flyin', I got wings."

Once again, Zim and Dib are laughing.

"That's a very interesting Forest Gump." Zim laughed. "You took Forest Gump to a whole new level."

"Yeah, it was like when Heath Ledger took the Joker to a totally different place." Dib agreed. "You know, this is for the reboot of Forest Gump. Me."

"I hope that never happens!" Zim laughed. "Alright, my turn again."

"Oh God, can't wait to see what you'll do." Dib chuckled, remembering the last time.

"Oh, you'll see." Zim smiled before clicking on "The Hangover". " I'm gonna be Mike Tyson!"

"You can't be Mike Tyson!" Dib laughed.

"Oh yeah?! Watch me Dib-human!" Zim laughed with a playful insult.

Leonard: "Who the hell are you?!

Zim: (Bent over the piano.) "Quiet! Quiet!" (Looks over and does a snake tongue flick.)

Phil: "Mike Tyson?"

Zim: (Whips around and snacks himself.) "Do I look black and muscular to you?! Huh? Oh wait! Fuck that! Here comes the best part!" (Air drums.) "I can feel it coming in the air tonight!" (Lifts shirt with a whoop before pulling it back down.) "Oh, I just did that. I just did that."

Alan: "Oh lord."

Zim: "I've been waiting for this moment, for all my life. Sing it!"

Alan, Phil, Stu: "Oh lord!"

Zim: "That's right!" (Throws a punch upward, making it look like he knocked Alan out.)

Phil: "Why did you do that?!"

Zim: "Because he's my bitch but I'll fuck him later!"

"Oh my god, I should've known!" Dib laughed as Zim backed away.

"I probably make a way better Mike Tyson." Zim chuckled.

"You know, for a scrawny little creature, your punch knocked him out."

"Better watch what you say, Dib-worm." Zim said in a singsong voice. "Look! I got highly creative!"

"How do you even judge that?!" Dib wondered.

"I don't know, you just guess." Zim shrugged. "Or maybe they send this thing through the internet and there's a guy judging it."

"Yeah." Dib laughed before picking "Karate Kid". "Alright, I'm gonna be Mr. Miyagi."

Dib: "I need you to wax my car, do you understand that? Do you? What, you not gonna talk?"

Daniel: "Well, yeah."

Dib: "Oh you are? Talk to me. … No? Nothing? Alright, so, listen here. So, uh, you're a kid, right? And you do things, right? " (Looks at the screen to notice his body disappearing.) "Oh, I'm invisible! I'm a ghost! That's cool." (Looks back at Daniel.) "This game sucks. Doesn't it? Yeah, so, seriously. Just wash my fucking car."

"I wanna try that same scene." Zim suggested, standing up as the scene ended. "I like how you went invisible."

"Yeah, that was pretty cool." Dib agreed as he sat on the couch.

"Yeah, it was like you were doing a predator scene instead."

Zim: "OK kid, I was your age once. I know these feelings you're having. OK OK. I'll try to explain it simple terms. Ready?"

Daniel: "Well, yeah."

Zim: (Making circular motions with his hands.) "Jack on, right hand. Jack off, left hand. Jack off. Jack on. Or which ever. Which ever you prefer. But trust me, it feels OK. You can do it kid. I have faith in you. Just breath. Don't forget to breath, it's very important. Jack on. Jack off."

After the scene ended, both Zim and Dib were loss of words.

"Um, OK then, let's just go on." Zim chuckled a bit.

"I was not expecting that." Dib agreed as he stood up. "OK, I'm gonna go over to the 'Terminator'."

Dib: "Nngh. Have you seen Letifa?"

Policeman: "You can't see her, she's making a statement."

Dib: "I need to see if she has my crack!"

Policeman: "Look, it may take awhile. If you wanna wait, there's a bench over there.

Dib: "Need, crack. I need crack! I gonna run you over with my crackmobile!" (Screams while the black car crashes through the police department.)

Zim and Dib are both in hysterics when the scene ended.

"Wow!" Dib laughed.

"I like how instead of 'I'll be back' it's 'I need crack'." Zim gasped.

"I need crack." Dib repeated.

"I kinda wanna do that same scene now.'

"Well, go ahead, nothing's stopping you."

Zim: "Hello. Hey! You know what? I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told that she… "

Policeman: "You can't see her, she's making a statement."

Zim: "Where is she?"

Policeman: "Look, it may take awhile…"

Zim: "What are you doing down there?!"

Policeman: "If you wanna wait, there's a bench over there."

Zim: "What are you, what you…" (Starts laughing a bit.) "What are you even… you should go home. I'll be back mother fucker! "

Policeman: (Ignores Zim until the black car comes crashing in.)

"Wow." Dib shook his head, smiling. "What was that?!"

"I don't know." Zim laughed. "I think I'm losing my touch. Can I try again?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"I'm gonna need your help for this one." Zim told the human as he clicked on one of the "Star Trek" movies.

"Oh boy, I'm frightened now." Dib chuckled as he stood up.

Spock: "Captain. This tribble is dead. And so are these."

Zim: (Holding Dib in his arms like a baby. Dib's desperately trying not to laugh.) "What?! No!"

Spock: "A lot of them are dead."

Zim: "No, that's impossible! This one seems so alive!" (Starts rocking Dib, the boy trying even harder not to laugh.)

Spock: "The logical explanation is that there's something in the grain."

Zim: "What, help me. I need to save this human." (Zim's antennas flatten against his head as he makes sad pleading eyes.) "I don't want him to die!"

McCoy: "I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet."

Zim: "Well, what the fuck are you doing?! Do something!"

McCoy: "Alright. If I learn anything, I'll let you know."

Zim: "I'll fucking kill you if you don't save my Dibby!"

When the scene ended, Zim put Dib back on his feet while they both laughed.

"I can't believe I actually let you do that!" Dib laughed.

"I can't believe I actually did that!" Zim laughed as well.

"Well, I think you got your touch back."

"Yay!"

"Alright, my turn." Dib chuckled as he searched through the options. "Oh hey, Zim!"

"What up?"

"This 'Star Trek' movie as a multiplayer option!"

"Aw sweet!" Zim gasped as he stood up. "Wanna do that one together?"

"You know it!"

Geordi La Forge: "Commander. Reading sub-space field fluctuations from within the Borg ship. Looks like they're regenerating, restoring power. They could be capable of warp any minute."

Dib: "What the fuck are you wearing?!"

Geordi La Forge: "It's ready."

Dib: "No seriously dude, what is this? Are you watching porn under those glasses? You are a sicko!"

Mr. Worf: "We are being hailed by the Borg."

Dib: "What the fuck?! You got a butt for a face!"

Zim: "I am Loctus. Lucotus. Locotus. Laca, Lactosus. Licorice! Of Borg! You know what? Resistance is futile. Your life, as it has been, is over. From third time forward, your service, will… uh, you will service us! Me! Because… I want you to. … Yeah that's right. I said it."

Dib: "I just shit, my pants."

Zim: "Fuck you!"

Dib: "Nnnrgh!"

(To be continued)

Zim and Dib are both rolling on the floor laughing hysterically, having very trouble breathing as they laughed.

"See what happens next in Dib's pants." Zim busted.

Dib was laughing way too hard to respond. After a couple minutes of nonstop laughing, the two finally stood up.

"OK Zim, you can have your turn since because I chose 'Star Trek'." Dib informed the alien.

"Alright then." Zim sighed, restabling himself from the laughter. "I think I'm gonna go ahead and do 'Rocky'."

"'Rocky' huh? I didn't know you knew that movie."

"Gir found it on the television and well, I think you can guess what happened."

"Oh yeah, most definitely." Dib nodded. "So, what scene are you doing."

"I'm gonna do, ooh, here's one that I know of. 'It Stinks'."

"Oh no."

Zim: "Took you long enough to get here. Ten years to come to my house, huh! What's the matter? You don't like my house?! My house stinks? That's right it stinks." (Chuckles a bit.) "I didn't ask, no favors from you. Don't slum around me. Talking about yo prime? What about my prime, Mick?! What about my prime?! At least you didn't have a prime!" (Deep gasp.) "I didn't have no prime and you didn't have nothin'! Legs are going! Nobody's nothin'! Guys come around asking me to fight, big deal! Wanna fight? Yeah I'll fight! I would wanna fight the big fight! You don't want that to happen to me. You don't want me to get that? I'm gonna get that! And you wanna be a ringside to see it? Do ya? You wanna help me out, huh? You don't wanna see my face get kicked in, legs in, nothing workin', nothin' workin'." (Deep gasp.) "But to go and fight no champ? Yeah I'll fight him! My freakin' face get kicked in! And you come here, and wanna move in with me! Come in Mick, my house. Real nice. Come in and move. It stinks. This whole place stinks! I DONE GIVE ME AN OSCAR!"

"Dude, that was pure genius!" Dib laughed. "You most certainly do deserve an Oscar for that!"

"You really think so?" Zim smiled.

"Dude, I know so!" Dib nodded as he stood up. "Alright, my turn."

"OK, you gotta make this good."

"Uh, how about… 'Wizard of Oz'?"

"Yeah sure, 'Wizard of Oz'.

Dib: " Y'all are goin' to see a wizard?! Do you think he might have any crack?!

Dorothy: "I wouldn't know. But even if he didn't you'd be no worse off than you are now."

Dib: "You're right. I do need some crack."

Dorothy: "Maybe you better not. I got a witch mad at me and you might get into trouble."

Dib: "A witch?! Maybe she has some crack. Do you think she could have some crack? Hmm. I bet a witch could conjure up some pretty good crack."

Dorothy: "Oh, I don't blame you."

Dib: "You don't blame me for wanting crack? Have you ever had crack before? It'll fuck you up! Good stuff! Mmm. Crack! … Got me some crack?"

"Oh my god, you idiot!" Zim laughed, his face in his hands.

"I got imaginative!" Dib laughed.

"That was very imaginative." Zim agreed as he stood up, calming down a bit. "Alright, I'm gonna go over to 'Mummy'. I have an idea."

"What's that?" Dib asked as he sat on the couch.

"You know how 'Mummy' is mostly a translated movie?"

"Yeah."

"You ready to hear some Irken Language?"

"You're kidding!"

"Oh contraire, my dear Dib. I kid you not."

"Oh boy."

Priest: (Frightened) "May the good Lord protect and watch over me. As a shepherd watches over his flock. Ya-hi la-hi. Sayeh le-a la-ij. Hua a-vua li-i. Tsan tsan. Yi lu bao. Al tastiri panaich amamey bary al sali."

Zim: (Speaking Irken) "The language of the slaves… I may have use for you. And the rewards… will be great."

Priest: "My Prince."

Zim: (Speaking Irken) "Where are the other sacred jars?!"

"Wow! I've never heard anything like your language before!" Dib was surprised. "All those pops and clicks. They make you sound like a Predator."

"Yeah, it's weird ain't it?" Zim chuckled. "Alright it's your turn."

"'Kindergarten Cop'!" Dib cried as he jumped up.

Dib: "Emma, take your toy back to the carpet. OK."

Emma: "I'm not a policeman. I am a princess."

Dib: "That's not what I fucking said. Take the toy back!"

Emma: "I am not a policeman. I'm a princess."

Dib: "Take it back or I'll shove this fist up your ass!"

Emma: "Alright."

Dib: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Bitch!"

Dib laughed and looked back at Zim, who was shocked beyond words.

"Wow." Zim blinked. "That was unexpected. I wouldn't want you around my smeets!"

"Wait, you can have smeets?" Dib asked.

"Wanna find out?"

"Oh shut the hell up you horny ass bitch!" Dib laughed, smacking the alien with a couch pillow.

"I was just joking!" Zim laughed. "But the answer to your question is yes, male and female Irkens both have the right system to produce smeets. It's to help our population. Considering we are a superior race."

"Wow, that's both weird and cool." Dib chuckled. "So if I see you walking into school looking pregnant, I'll know what's really going on."

"Oh be quiet and let me choose my scene." Zim rolled his eyes playfully.

"Last one." Dib informed.

"Alright then. Let's do… 'Employee of The Month'."

"Alright a really crappy movie!"

"I'm gonna be the dude."

"There's two dudes."

"I'm gonna be the dude. THE dude."

Zim: "I've got some fucking bad news!"

Lon: "Spit it out, Dirk."

Zim: "The hooker is fucking dead! The hooker! The hooker is dead."

Lon: "It's just not… we can't cancel. We're fine, right?"

Zim: "No she's just fucking dead man." (Deep gasp.) "We gave her too much rufee!"

Lon: "Where is she? Go find her!"

Zim: "She's fucking dead in my trunk! You gotta help me bury her!"

Lon: "So, she's not coming in then?"

Zim: "Uh no, she's fucking dead, you dumb shit!"

Lon: "Oh, God in Jesus. Rest her soul. Call an emergency staff meeting. Now! Don't lollygag!"

Zim: "Think fast!"

"Wow, that was very grim." Dib nodded.

"A very grim ending to our adventure." Zim laughed, then gasped. "Dude, is that thing still recording?!"

"Oh shit!" Dib laughed when he looked at the red light on the camera. "We forgot all about that!"

"Oh crap!" Zim laughed when he took a look. "We got it on fucking LIVESTREAM!"

"Oh shit!" Dib collapsed, holding his sides as he laughed.

"God dammit!"

"Well, just because of that, I think we better do one more with just you and me acting." Dib suggested.

"Yeah, sounds good." Zim nodded.

And so, the two of them decided to go with a scene of being on the moon.

"Euughl! I can't breath!" Zim pretended to choke.

"Oh God! Why are we on the moon?!" Dib pretended as well.

"Ok, we will see you guys, next week maybe." Zim coughed. "Leave some suggestions on what we should play next. Don't suggest this fucking game."

"OK bye." Dib choked. "Maybe we'll play some Minecraft sometime."

"Oh yeah, we were actually gonna play some Minecraft but we ran out of time." Zim agreed.

"Sorry." Dib apologized. "But thus concludes this episode of 'The Human and The Alien'."

"See you next time." Zim coughed.

"America." Dib coughed as they both collapsed onto the floor, the camera running out of storage space.

 **The End**


End file.
